I Only Have Room To Believe

This is about the psychiatrist who abused me in february 2013 (ie.“Breaking My Silence”) by blacklisting me in the system whence writing very serious, untrue things in my public file. This shut me out from getting any help or being believed by doctors, and caused me to have to defend myself while sick. I fought to receive my rightful diagnosis of a health condition which turns out to be more serious than fibromyalgia. Though my case was eventually proven, this had to happen in another country.

She broke me wide open

but I gotta get up

She tore up everything thing I stood for

yeah, she roughed me up

She looked me down

with her beady eyes

her grey-souled mind

said I'm made of lies

Because I express differently

and confidently

and though I was in distress...

she misconstrued my request

she made an awful mess

My heart then shattered into glass

shards, flying around me

and as I walked, they cut my soul

and then took such a wretched toll

For weeks and weeks and weeks

because she's in a seat

of power, in her hierarchy

I let her nearly kill me

But maybe; it’s meant to be

that I now stand up and fight

and no, not with strife

truth I live

in this life!

Refusing to sink, into the sand

but rather be heard, my heart by my words

revealing the truth, I must demand

That people know

how the neuro-different fare

at the hands

of current ignorance

In which is so endemic

and oppressive to We

am I to suffer

so that they see?

Can I be strong, entwined with plight

to seek justice, to make this right

for the sake of the divergent song

for the chorus of the neuro-different; wronged

are We, and We are everywhere

and We have much to give!

but We are afflicted; targeted

by the ways, in which this world lives...

Oh, dear Lord above; am I strong enough

to Banish lately cursed nights....

which only grossly weaken me

from rising with the right kind of fight

I must rise up; from this downward spiral

and make my message viral

pushing everything that hurts me; OFF...

I'm coming back home! ...after I mop

The blood that was spilt

now, my body; Be rebuilt

Oh; I love so much!

it's this a sociopath can't stand

and though I've been far from perfect

I've made tools that I must work with

I'll pray to The Universe; for clarity and strength

to mend from broken and weakened

to see past barriers that block the beacon

Though on the brink

I don't give up easily

yes, many attack the sensitive, the weak

adding insult to injury

But did she in fact wake up a beast?

that was sleeping

deep down inside of me

and now; can I be David?

can I slay the monster before me?

My reiki master told me

that it is meant to be …

And though I'm scared

deep down I believe

in miracles, in reprieve

The impossible can be achieved

there just is no more time to grieve

I only have room to Believe

I ONLY HAVE ROOM TO BELIEVE.

June 5th 2013

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