Rise Above

Rise Above

Broken open


by a gash so deep


walking wounded

and for weeks couldn't sleep


Not without nightmares


as I cried out in vain


"how could this happen again?!

opened up, is all the pain
!"

The mirror held up to my face


lay shattered on the floor


my body sprawled upon the glass


infected, sick, and sore


I stared up at the ceiling


and saw the outlined wings


of an angel hovering, and singing


"A message I shall bring"


The message said; “you love so deep


that you count stars instead of sheep


amongst those stars you see Gods' face


and all the human lies’ disgrace


and though, my dear, you fell from grace


at the devils hands

you can command your final hand

you can refuse to be a victim

You can find yourself once again


to be your "rainbow from the rain"


you asked us once to bring you one


but we said with fate you're not done


Until you see the truth, behold


the true rainbow with colours bold


Each colour now, belongs to you


so be no more, on your head, a shoe


For that shoe just revealed it's true


reason why it intends to do


the act of darkness, inflicted upon you


the machine guns held up, to disarm you


Be not afraid of the firing range


you're bulletproof, if indeed you change


into the light warrior meant to be


coming in peace, shielding the tree


Stand strong with the light


and hurt you will not


without fire, fight


with the heart that you've brought


Into your deepest desire


for in which they call you a liar


rise above them, even higher


hear not the attempts to lower

rise higher!


Be with all good souls in Heaven above


Be with all good souls in the Power of Love


and Love Thy Enemy, without disdain


and you'll be the rainbow from the rain


Shining upon, having mercy below


for those who commit acts oh so low


for true love they will never show

and sadly they may never know


Such is that is the tragedy belonging to they


who make innocents their gamely prey


pity them, for what they will never know


yes, rise and shine, upon them below


Believe in yourself, your truth and you'll be


able to shield every standing tree


from systems with an axe to grind


and you may warm the hurt we find


Upon other light warriors too


whom on their heads, there stomps a shoe


So rise above

hold out your hand and pull them out

from the quicksand


So they don't disappear, in abyss


so they'll live in a peaceful bliss


You broke open to hurt and know


what's tried to have you sink below


and all the pieces you split into


revealed the colours, living all through you


The colours of love, the colours of truth


forget the kettle black which calls you uncouth


and now you know why, once and for all


so rise above the battle call


And hold your heart and head up high


and shine upon a cloudy sky


until the clouds part once again


for you be that rainbow from the rain


When you bring your colours all together


in the aftermath of the stormy weather


yes, you break wide open, as a being of light


so split into that rainbow bright!

All colours confused... come together again


in love and light, be eternally sane


forever without crying in vain


forever without affliction and pain



August 16th, 2013

Fin.

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Meant To Be

I'll keep reaching

no matter what

I'll keep searching

for an out, from this rut

Not a rut of mine

but from being entwined

with barriers

in which seem oh so endless

And fog up my vision

lucky I have precision

in all that I do

and a heart that is true

but I need something more

as I grapple to keep score

against a great Goliath

I'm a mouse to a lion

Constantly sticking out my tongue

being threatened to be hung

like in the days of Salem

you could say, I suppose

on hot coals are my toes

As I walk across, they burn

and I'm squinting

to see the next right turn

though half the time, there's a blockade

and though my brain, the way it's built

is challenged with being unafraid

I have no choice

if I want to survive

to believe in my instincts

deep down inside...

They tell me to hang on;

and love for destiny

My logic can argue,

though paradoxically

I question; if one is born

with a certain feeling

which lives so strongly

inside of thee

Then maybe

JUST maybe...

it IS “meant to be”?

July 10, 2013

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Little Eyes

Oh, Little eyes
I love you
and I be thinking of you
all the time, deep within my soul
although I may seem on a roll
forgive me
when I'm on a train
I'm praying
it won't be in vain
and I may leave you something special
no matter what happens to me
I want to take you to a tree
and hold you beneath the branches
if only, for just one time
we could look up at the sky
I love you much more than you know
forever
Little eyes

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Is it just a dream...

Will it ever be real
or is it just a dream?
i'm stuck in a machine
that is failing me
albeit not even that
being believed..

and could i make it all work better
if i only knew how
part of me wants to take a bow
and out
from trying

why did life seem to bring
all these challenges to me
when all i've ever wanted
is to simply be happy
oh was it just a dream
that my own song, i did sing
clad in glitter and feathers
and fitted jeans, and leather...

but i am breathing weak
and i am scared, to the brink
i feel that i may sink
'cause i don't have the answers why
and this public system, i cannot rely
i fear too much time will pass me by
before they see what I say is not a lie!

can i keep on swimming
in this ocean dark and deep
i cannot see a beacon
should i just go to sleep

but i feel, that if i sleep
i may never wake again
so i'm still reaching out with might
for the rainbow from the rain

oh, is it all a fantasy
and not really a destiny
i'm hanging on.. and we shall see
and I'll sing in my dreams
and I'll pray for moonbeams

to shine upon
and light the way
maybe until
the darkened days
cease
into a peace
at least, in some way

whatever way
I do not know
although I'll pray
and keep the faith
so that if I don't make it
I'm smiling
under a blanket

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I Only Have Room To Believe

This is about the psychiatrist who abused me in february 2013 (ie.“Breaking My Silence”) by blacklisting me in the system whence writing very serious, untrue things in my public file. This shut me out from getting any help or being believed by doctors, and caused me to have to defend myself while sick. I fought to receive my rightful diagnosis of a health condition which turns out to be more serious than fibromyalgia. Though my case was eventually proven, this had to happen in another country.

She broke me wide open

but I gotta get up

She tore up everything thing I stood for

yeah, she roughed me up

She looked me down

with her beady eyes

her grey-souled mind

said I'm made of lies

Because I express differently

and confidently

and though I was in distress...

she misconstrued my request

she made an awful mess

My heart then shattered into glass

shards, flying around me

and as I walked, they cut my soul

and then took such a wretched toll

For weeks and weeks and weeks

because she's in a seat

of power, in her hierarchy

I let her nearly kill me

But maybe; it’s meant to be

that I now stand up and fight

and no, not with strife

truth I live

in this life!

Refusing to sink, into the sand

but rather be heard, my heart by my words

revealing the truth, I must demand

That people know

how the neuro-different fare

at the hands

of current ignorance

In which is so endemic

and oppressive to We

am I to suffer

so that they see?

Can I be strong, entwined with plight

to seek justice, to make this right

for the sake of the divergent song

for the chorus of the neuro-different; wronged

are We, and We are everywhere

and We have much to give!

but We are afflicted; targeted

by the ways, in which this world lives...

Oh, dear Lord above; am I strong enough

to Banish lately cursed nights....

which only grossly weaken me

from rising with the right kind of fight

I must rise up; from this downward spiral

and make my message viral

pushing everything that hurts me; OFF...

I'm coming back home! ...after I mop

The blood that was spilt

now, my body; Be rebuilt

Oh; I love so much!

it's this a sociopath can't stand

and though I've been far from perfect

I've made tools that I must work with

I'll pray to The Universe; for clarity and strength

to mend from broken and weakened

to see past barriers that block the beacon

Though on the brink

I don't give up easily

yes, many attack the sensitive, the weak

adding insult to injury

But did she in fact wake up a beast?

that was sleeping

deep down inside of me

and now; can I be David?

can I slay the monster before me?

My reiki master told me

that it is meant to be …

And though I'm scared

deep down I believe

in miracles, in reprieve

The impossible can be achieved

there just is no more time to grieve

I only have room to Believe

I ONLY HAVE ROOM TO BELIEVE.

June 5th 2013

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This Tree

Feeling it all

as it flows through my veins

like acid rain

upon my soul

What is my roll

and how i came to be

so broken like this

crying under this tree

In my dreams, from above

yes, until there are doves..

she whispers her rhyme

and her leaves

shed in time

Till a barren trunk

stands amongst the cold

oh yes, there she stands

so still and so bold

While keeping her roots

solid in the ground

until she had found

the sunlight, shining

And though she's not pining

and now just standing still

and so I do ask

why is she not ill?

Even though they've cut down

and all her family...

“Take a leaf from this tree”

she whispers to me

“you keep this one leaf

for

you...

love me still

when you were a child

over we, you did grieve

our remaining stumps

were your tears, we received”

And this is one of my first memories

and maybe a message

of how to be freed

I'm hanging on dearly

amidst the cold breeze

I just want to please

but who; I'm asking...

Is it merely me

or can I simply be

and how can I too

be free

like this tree?

May 8th, 2013

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The Ground That Holds A Million Tears

Pieces of a memory

way down here

on the ground below

that holds a million tears

Shattered heart and soul

mended together still

but it takes a toll

holding together

with a pill

Managing to scrape

at the bottom of the barrel

even better standards still

cherry picking, like a hunt

Even though there are the runts

being pushed around

or, being pushed down

I don't know anymore

It's a game; to keep score

surviving with the petals

when problems are ignored

and pacified to settle

Boiling like a kettle

of secrets underneath

though hidden in a sheath

so hidden in a sheath..

April 23rd, 2013

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